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Monday, 13 June 2016

I never had sex until I met my wife — Gaise

The Ibuoyes
When and how did you meet?
Gaise: I attended a seminar and she was a volunteer at the event .She was on the registration desk and was the first person I met at the programme.
When did you decide to marry her?
Gaise: I made up my mind to marry her in December 2013 and we got married in 2014.
 What endeared her to you?
Gaise: Her beauty caught my eye. I grew up with some personal values and at the time I met my wife, I was still a virgin. I told myself I wouldn’t have sex until after marriage. Luckily for me, my wife was also a virgin before we tied the knot.
 Was there any opposition from family members before you got married?
Funto: The major opposition was from my mum. My mum is a very religious person. She is a devoted member of Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries. She didn’t want me to marry someone in the limelight.  My mum wanted me to get married to someone with a regular job. At first, it wasn’t easy for my mum to accept my husband because he’s a musician but after a while, she realised he is a good Christian, a good man and a man who has the right values.
Gaise:  Not really. Except that the members of my family had become accustomed to my former partner. After meeting with my wife a few times, they liked her.
 While you courted, did you feel he could disappoint you?
Funto: I knew who I was courting. I did not agree to date him because he is a musician. What got me attracted to him is that he has a heart for God. My husband was more spiritual than I was at the time we were dating. I told myself that if this guy is so rooted in God and loves God, he would not disappoint me.
 How would you describe the experience of being married to each other?
Funto: Marriage is a journey. Basically, it’s been quite tasking. I recollect that the first few months of our marriage were challenging. There were a lot of misunderstandings but we went past that and we are still growing. Marriage revealed so much about me that I had no prior knowledge of.  Before I got married, I thought I was the nicest and coolest person anybody could ever get married too. After marriage, I realised I was not who I thought I was. The Holy Spirit helped and still helps us to control our emotions.
Gaise: Marriage taught me to be selfless and more calculative. Marriage, when done right, makes you a better person and it has made me a better person.
 How often do you have misunderstandings?
Gaise:  Before we got married, we used to have misunderstandings three times in two weeks or thrice a month but now, we rarely do.
 Who apologises first when there is a quarrel and how do you make up?
Gaise: Most times, I apologise first.
Funto: My husband apologises first.
Do you invite a third party sometimes?
Gaise: There’s no space for a third party in our marriage. We’ve never allowed a third party to settle our issues. We always do that ourselves.
 Do you operate a joint account?
Gaise: We don’t have a joint account. Our accounts are transparent. We have each other’s ATM pins and we both get notifications on every transaction we make.
Funto: What we have is ‘joint operations’ whereby we see virtually everything about our financial transactions. We are both open about our finances.
 Why don’t you own a joint account?
Gaise: We’ve never thought of having a joint account. My wife and I are united despite not having a joint account.
 What would you say accounts for the success of your marriage?
Gaise: Having a working relationship with God is the only key to a successful marriage and I do this by praying a lot. I would add that marriage is beyond love.
Funto: The Bible says by wisdom, a home is built. I ask for wisdom from God whenever I pray for him to guide me in my marriage.
 Do you sometimes regret being married to someone in the spotlight?
Funto: I don’t regret marrying my husband despite the nature of his business
 How do you react when female fans celebrate your husband?
Funto: I join them in the celebration. I remember speaking somewhere and after the talk, some female undergraduates walked up to me and said they love my husband’s music and have a crush on him. I told them he’s also my crush and we all laughed.
 How do you keep admirers at bay?
Gaise: My social media accounts can be accessed on my wife’s phone. My wife set an alert on my tweets, so she gets notified immediately I reply a tweet on Twitter. It feels good to know I have been a good guy. I don’t find it intrusive, I find it safe. It keeps me on check.
Funto: I tell my husband about my admirers especially whenever they compliment me. I like to make him feel a bit jealous. I like to make light of every situation.
 Why do you think celebrities cheat on their spouses?
Gaise: There are different reasons for doing so. A celebrity is bound to face more temptations and if you fail to resist them, make sure you remember that everybody is watching. Whether you are a celebrity or not, there are no restrictions in marriage.
 What are the most valuable gifts you have shared as a couple?
Funto: That would be an epistle he wrote and sent to me on my birthday. It meant and still means so much to me.
Gaise:  I don’t keep records of those gifts but my wife does more of the buying of gifts.
 Do you find being married to an artiste challenging?
Funto: The late night shows and meetings can be quite challenging but I have been able to cope with it.
 Do you have disagreements about finances sometimes?
Gaise: We have done well in that area and it can only keep getting better. I owe the success of our marriage in the area of finances to my wife.
 What would be your advice to intending couples?
Funto: Marriage is all about understanding each other and knowing what works for you and your partner.
 What pet names do you call each other?
Funto: We call each other ‘Babe’.

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